Victoria Beckham apparently needed to spice up her life when she decided to leave the Spice Girls.

In a letter to her future self for British Vogue published on Monday, January 11, Posh Spice opened up about why she left the popular 90s British girl group and chose not to join them for their highly-anticipated 2019 UK reunion tour.

Related: Jesy Nelson Is Leaving Little Mix 

The 46-year-old fashion designer began the in-depth message with “Dear Future Victoria” and then went on, reflecting:

“Years ago, you wrote a letter to your 18-year-old self. As it’s a new year, I wanted to take a moment to reflect and pen a letter to my older and **fingers crossed** wiser Future Self. 2020 and 2021 are in the distant past, but you’ve carried the lessons of that time with you. I hope you are reading this on a beach, surrounded by all the people you love! Give them huge hugs for me (wait, am I the shortest in the family now?!). You’ve experienced more togetherness with your family than you ever imagined possible (all 293 days of it and counting), and it is something you’ll no doubt cherish.”

The business mogul then talked about the struggles of running a major fashion and beauty company amid the coronavirus pandemic, saying:

“Building a fashion and beauty business requires passion, tenacity, fearlessness; it’s not for the faint-hearted. Building one in a pandemic was nearly impossible… but I know you, and you will use this experience to grow and expand. The reality of being a mum, a wife, a friend, and a businesswoman creates a constantly shifting push-pull in life. But you think big, love the hustle, and you never take no for an answer.”

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Before she discussed her time in the legendary pop band, the momma confessed her life motto, exclaiming:

“Always remember your mantra: ‘work hard and be kind.’ Do you have this embroidered on a pillow yet?”

Despite loving her time performing with the girls with whom she still remains close, she revealed the “life-changing” moment with Elton John (umm, what?!) that ultimately persuaded her to put the microphone down and take a step back once and for all:

“Remember years ago, watching your dear friend Elton John on stage in Las Vegas. He performed Tiny Dancer, as if it were the first time, and you realized this was like oxygen for him. It was a life-changing moment — while singing and dancing was fun for you, it wasn’t your passion. That day, you started your quest to uncover your own dreams. It was time to step away from being a Spice Girl.”

At the time, the Spice World actress remembered how “terrifying” and “scary” it was to end that chapter of her life, explaining:

“For the first time, you were venturing out on your own, and it was terrifying. It was scary to close a chapter that defined you. I know you are still reinventing yourself, taking on new challenges, and ignoring the naysayers. You always look beyond the conventional wisdom to pave your own path. First, you found this passion in fashion, and most recently, beauty. What comes next? I’m dying to know.”

She concluded the heartfelt piece, writing:

“Keep up the juggling act. It’s never easy but tremendously rewarding – a privilege. Here’s to the future.”

Though our ’90s hearts will forever wish that we will have a proper reunion featuring ALL five ladies (album, tour, merch—the whole works, please!), we are glad that Victoria still likes to keep the spice magic alive. In a 2019 interview with Ellen DeGeneres, she explained:

“I’ll always be a Spice Girl. I’ll always be Posh Spice, always.”

Ughhhhh! So sad, but what can we do? What do U think about Posh’s decision? Let us know in the comments (below)!

[Image via Lia Toby/WENN & Olympic/YouTube]

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